The Fateful Fourteenth

Hey there, Mr. President, way back there in time! Yes, you, sir! Listen, you don't know me, just a concerned citizen up here in your unimaginable future (omg, really, it's crazy-cool, wonderful-horrible), but take my word for it: You and Mrs. Lincoln skip the theater tonight, okay? Trust me, we'll all be the better for it if you'll just stay in and go to bed early tonight.